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Daily Laugh!
Good Morning!
Your daily laugh as requested sent to you with the intention of
brightening up your day!
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everyone you know.
In order to receive your daily laugh each morning please see the
instructions as set out below.
________________________________________
It's a beautifal warm spring day and a man and his wife are at
the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress,
sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and
pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He
jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet),
panting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is
obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife
tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips,
wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets
even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then
the husband suggests that sge let one of her straps fall, she
does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.
Now try lifting your dress up your thighs... this drives the
gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his
wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage and slings her
in with the gorilla. "Now, tell HIM you have a headache!"
______________________________________
A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's being
watched by a midget. Although the little fellow is staring at
him intently, the guy doesn't get uncomfortable until the midget
drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds
to admire his privates at close range.
"Wow," comments the midget, "Those are the nicest balls I have
ever seen!"
Surprised and flattered the man thanks the midget and starts to
move away.
"Listen, I know this is a rather strange request, "says the
little fellow, "but I wonder if you would mind if I touched
them."
Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it,
he obliges the request. The midget reaches out, gets a tight
grip on the man's balls, and says, "Okay,, hand me your wallet or
I'll jump off the ladder!"
_____________________________________
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor
took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out
of the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the
doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do
you know what i'm doing?"
"Yes, "the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast
cancer." "Correct,"replied the shady doctor. Finally, he
mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with
her. He asked, "Do you know what i'm doing now?"
"Yes, "she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came
here in the first place."
_____________________________________
What a Woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do the laundry right now!"
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah NO CLOTHES,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!
______________________________________
An irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a
key in his hand.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches; "Can I help you lad?"
"Yesss, Sssshomboddy stole me car! "the irishman replies.
The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car the last time you saw
it?"
"It was at the end of this key"
About this time the cop looks down to see that the irishman's
willie is being exhibited for all to see.
He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
The irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH SH,IT...they got
me girlfriend too!"
____________________________________
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Enjoy your day!!!!!!!!!!